My name's Montana, Matte Montana, and I solve puzzles. This is my story.
I was taking an Autumn Stroll, when my cell phone started to ring like a Nightclub. It was this hippy-dippy Earth Mother friend of mine, and she needed my help.
"Oh Matte," she said, "I'm so confused. I'm at the end of my Twisted Rope. I'm Foiled like a Chaton."
"Hang on, my Petite Flower," I said. "Don't get your Moccasins in a bunch. Pour yourself a glass of Bordeaux and I'll be right there." I jumped my car - a new hybrid Electric Blue Opal, a replacement for the Vintage Steel that I used to drive, checked my Gunmetal Vitrail, and drove over in the Starlight.
There she was, as lovely as a Spring Willow, getting Hammered, and fanning herself with a Monstera Leaf.
"I'm Missing a Puzzle Piece!" she said when I got there.
"Well" I said, "Do you need a 1 knob puzzle piece or a 2 knob puzzle piece?"
"Oh no," she sobbed, "I think it's a triangle piece!"
"Really?" I said. "Here it is - the Missing Piece - in both Copper and Brass.
Honestly - you are as beautiful as a butterfly but as sharp as a pebble."
"Oh," she said, you make me as angry as the Fire of a 1000 Suns. You are about as helpful as a square washer. I thought you would bail me out."
"Listen baby, you called me, don't you look daggers at me!"
"Why don't you Tiny Tim Drop out of here, you're not so Bright Gold yourself," she snapped.
Well, who needs that kind of abuse, so I decided to make like a tree and Leaf, and I grabbed an Smoked Topaz Oval Cab home and took up Creative Beading.
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